Bill Maher Meets Trump Soul Leaves Body
LOS ANGELES — In an unprecedented act of journalistic rigor, television comedian and frequent monologue enthusiast…
FEMA Denies Aid Cites Washington’s Lack of Charisma
OLYMPIA, WA — In a bold move to redefine disaster relief, FEMA has denied Washington State’s…
Married Woman Loves Pet Hamster More
NEW YORK — After five years of marriage and three IKEA rebuilds, local woman Dana Wexler…
President Trump Secretly Goth Now Says Aide
President Donald Trump has reportedly embraced the Goth lifestyle privately citing the soothing qualities of Bauhaus…
Local Man Eats Deadly Snake Feels Invincible
ARIZONA — A local man who reportedly ate multiple venomous snakes over the years says he’s…
Worlds Deadliest Cheese Declares Independence From Sardinia
SARDINIA — In a crazy yet unsettling development, Casu Marzu, the infamous maggot-infested cheese banned across…
Girlfriends Replaced As Blackpink Claims Men
SEOUL — Local girlfriends across the globe are filing emotional complaints after their boyfriends abruptly abandoned…
Darkweb Hacker Loses Battle To Grandma
INTERNET — A 22-year-old hacker known online as “Tooyoung69” is recovering emotionally after being absolutely humiliated…
Man Visits Morocco Immediately Regrets Being Alive
MARRAKESH — Local tourist Brent Halverson, 34, arrived in Morocco last week seeking “authentic vibes” and…
Local Man Eats Snake Heart Quickly Regrets It
HANOI — In a brave attempt to impress absolutely no one, local Hanoi resident Minh Truong,…
NYC Pizza Guy Fears Replacement by Drones
BROOKLYN — Local pizza delivery worker Marco DiLorenzo confessed Thursday he now lives in constant fear…
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