Bill Maher Meets Trump Soul Leaves Body
LOS ANGELES — In an unprecedented act of journalistic rigor, television comedian and frequent monologue enthusiast…
FEMA Denies Aid Cites Washington’s Lack of Charisma
OLYMPIA, WA — In a bold move to redefine disaster relief, FEMA has denied Washington State’s…
Married Woman Loves Pet Hamster More
NEW YORK — After five years of marriage and three IKEA rebuilds, local woman Dana Wexler…
President Trump Secretly Goth Now Says Aide
President Donald Trump has reportedly embraced the Goth lifestyle privately citing the soothing qualities of Bauhaus…
Zuckerberg Shocked To Learn Monopoly Means Monopoly
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg appeared in federal court this week, bravely defending his…
Local Man Eats Deadly Snake Feels Invincible
ARIZONA — A local man who reportedly ate multiple venomous snakes over the years says he’s…
Worlds Deadliest Cheese Declares Independence From Sardinia
SARDINIA — In a crazy yet unsettling development, Casu Marzu, the infamous maggot-infested cheese banned across…
Meat Eaters Fear Vegans Will Win Eventually
HELSINKI — A new study has confirmed what many already knew deep down in their cheese-stuffed…
Girlfriends Replaced As Blackpink Claims Men
SEOUL — Local girlfriends across the globe are filing emotional complaints after their boyfriends abruptly abandoned…
Catcher In The Rye Declared Global Treasure Today
WASHINGTON — In an emergency UNESCO session Tuesday, world leaders unanimously declared The Catcher in the…
White House Replaces Trump With Talking Ketchup
WASHINGTON — In an emergency press briefing, the White House revealed that President Donald Trump has…
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