Bill Maher Meets Trump Soul Leaves Body
LOS ANGELES — In an unprecedented act of journalistic rigor, television comedian and frequent monologue enthusiast…
Married Woman Loves Pet Hamster More
NEW YORK — After five years of marriage and three IKEA rebuilds, local woman Dana Wexler…
Zuckerberg Shocked To Learn Monopoly Means Monopoly
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg appeared in federal court this week, bravely defending his…
Local Man Eats Deadly Snake Feels Invincible
ARIZONA — A local man who reportedly ate multiple venomous snakes over the years says he’s…
Meat Eaters Fear Vegans Will Win Eventually
HELSINKI — A new study has confirmed what many already knew deep down in their cheese-stuffed…
Girlfriends Replaced As Blackpink Claims Men
SEOUL — Local girlfriends across the globe are filing emotional complaints after their boyfriends abruptly abandoned…
Catcher In The Rye Declared Global Treasure Today
WASHINGTON — In an emergency UNESCO session Tuesday, world leaders unanimously declared The Catcher in the…
Darkweb Hacker Loses Battle To Grandma
INTERNET — A 22-year-old hacker known online as “Tooyoung69” is recovering emotionally after being absolutely humiliated…
White House Replaces Trump With Talking Ketchup
WASHINGTON — In an emergency press briefing, the White House revealed that President Donald Trump has…
Man Visits Morocco Immediately Regrets Being Alive
MARRAKESH — Local tourist Brent Halverson, 34, arrived in Morocco last week seeking “authentic vibes” and…
Local Man Eats Snake Heart Quickly Regrets It
HANOI — In a brave attempt to impress absolutely no one, local Hanoi resident Minh Truong,…
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