Palantir: Once-in-a-Generation AI Stock or Just the World’s Most Expensive Magic 8-Ball?
SILICON VALLEY — Investors are currently split on whether Palantir Technologies is the next unstoppable AI…
Apple Announces iPad Now Only Missing About Three Things to Fully Become a Mac
CUPERTINO, CA — Apple confirmed Tuesday that the iPad is now almost, nearly, basically a Mac,…
Texas Instruments to Invest $60 Billion After Trump Mistakes Them for Rodeo Equipment Company
DALLAS — Texas Instruments announced Monday a $60 billion investment in U.S. manufacturing following what insiders…
Trump Extends TikTok Sale Deadline Again, Citing Sudden Need to Finish ‘Epic Dance Challenge’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has officially extended the TikTok sale deadline for a third…
Amazon Heroically Saves Gamers From Paying Actual Money By Dumping Free Games Ahead Of Prime Day
SEATTLE — In a bold act of consumer generosity, Amazon announced it will fling free video…
Pentagon Slashes AI Weapons Testing Team, Accelerating Nation’s March Toward Glitchy Robot Apocalypse
LAS VEGAS — In a move praised by defense contractors and feared by everyone else, the…
Vibe Coding AI Quietly Replaces Engineers While Trump Asks If It Can Build Bigger Flags
SILICON VALLEY — Engineering jobs, once the crown jewel of tech stability, are now quietly dissolving…
Study Finds Most AI Just Fancy Vending Machines That Occasionally Talk Back
SEATTLE — In a groundbreaking revelation from researchers this week, the public was urged to stop…
Google Pixel Watch Update Finally Arrives, Immediately Forgets Why It Came
CALIFORNIA — In a stunning display of technological punctuality, Google began rolling out its June 2025…
News Sites Reduced to Writing Obituaries for Their Own Careers as Google’s AI Eats Journalism
SAN FRANCISCO — Publishers across the web are reportedly drafting farewell letters to their remaining readers…
Trump Claims Credit for Xbox Handheld, Says He “Personally Approved the Buttons”
WASHINGTON — In a surprise announcement, President Donald Trump took full credit for Xbox’s newly revealed…
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