SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA — Southern California erupted in chaos this week as President Trump’s latest deportation initiative accidentally reminded Democrats they were supposed to have political opinions. Party leaders scrambled to condemn the crackdown while quietly calculating if caring about immigrants might hurt their chances in the 2026 “Most Harmless Politician” awards.
Protesters demanding basic human rights were met with tear gas and sternly worded tweets from Democratic strategists warning them to “tone it down.” Meanwhile, Trump celebrated record deportation numbers by unveiling a new ICE mascot, “Deputy Deporty,” a cartoon bulldog that barks the word “Papers!” at children.
Political analysts note this is tricky terrain for Democrats, who must now decide between weakly opposing fascism or strongly supporting brunch. Polls show most voters now believe “immigration reform” is a new Netflix drama, while 30% of Californians have started practicing their Canadian accents just in case.
As the protests spread, Democratic leadership released a statement saying they “stand with the people, metaphorically.” Meanwhile, Trump announced plans to replace the Statue of Liberty with a giant novelty check made out to “Corporations Only.” When asked for comment, Nancy Pelosi was seen slowly folding into an origami swan and floating away.
© 2025 The Daily Snort
