WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump addressed the sudden plunge in Chinese exports to the United States, confidently blaming the decline on China “not trying hard enough.” Trump advised Beijing to “just ship more stuff” and suggested their factories might be “taking too many naps.” Officials confirmed the president has no immediate plans beyond offering stern motivational advice.
The sharp drop in Chinese exports, the largest since the early Covid-19 pandemic, has triggered concern among economists. Trump, however, dismissed the situation as “a delivery problem” that could easily be solved if China simply “used bigger trucks.” He announced no formal economic response, instead proposing that trade could be fixed faster if everyone “just tried thinking positive.”
As US and Chinese negotiators prepare to meet in London on Monday, Trump indicated he would not attend personally because he finds trade talks “boring and too full of numbers.” Sources revealed the president’s plan is to send a gift basket filled with American corn, signed golf balls, and a handwritten note saying, “Ship faster, love Trump.” Aides declined to comment on whether this constitutes an official diplomatic strategy.
China’s producer index has fallen at its fastest pace in two years, but Trump remained unfazed. He suggested China’s economic slowdown might be due to “everyone standing around instead of making things.” The president also floated the idea of hosting a “Shipping Olympics,” where countries would compete to send the most products to the US in under a week.
When asked about the potential global impact of deteriorating trade relations, Trump waved off the question, saying he expects China to “figure it out after lunch.” He then exited the briefing room while humming to himself and pointing at a globe he proudly misidentified as the moon.
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