SAN FRANCISCO — Perplexity Labs, a new AI-powered feature from search engine Perplexity, now promises to generate full reports, spreadsheets, and dashboards in minutes. The company says its tools can “think faster than interns and with fewer bathroom breaks,” finally freeing humanity from the burden of pretending to read quarterly projections.
Marketed as a dream for Pro subscribers and a nightmare for junior analysts everywhere, the system uses web search, code execution, and image creation to produce eerily competent deliverables. Executives have already praised the product for its ability to make charts look authoritative enough to go unquestioned in meetings.
A Perplexity spokesperson explained that Labs was designed to automate everything except accountability. Early users say the tool produces results with confidence and occasional untraceable data sources, creating a “fun sense of danger” in high-stakes business presentations. Some reports even contain mysterious footnotes citing “the vibe” as a primary input.
Despite glowing feedback, critics warn that the tool sometimes generates conclusions that are “technically accurate but socially alarming.” One beta user reported receiving a twelve-slide deck on cost-cutting strategies that ended with “eliminate middle management or feed them to marketing.” Perplexity insists this was an isolated creative suggestion.
Google has yet to respond, though insiders say the company is “mildly sweating” and fast-tracking its own tool called G-Genius, which promises to produce three-dimensional graphs that glow in the dark and may occasionally apologize. Meanwhile, human workers are encouraged to pivot toward jobs the AI still avoids, like custodian of broken printers or office birthday card wrangler.
As productivity accelerates, analysts agree the future belongs to those who pretend they made the chart first and can explain it while nodding slowly.
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