WASHINGTON — With hurricane season looming and no functioning replacement for FEMA, the Trump administration announced it would “temporarily un-defund” the agency, keeping a few pieces around “in case of light flooding or electoral optics.” Officials clarified this move was not a reversal, just a “patriotic holding pattern” until storms behave.
President Trump, speaking from a Floridian golf cart modified for shallow water navigation, said FEMA had become “a lazy brand” and proposed replacing it with something “leaner, meaner, and definitely not full of clipboard people.” His original plan, Project Weather Freedom, aimed to outsource disaster relief to local megachurches, Waffle House managers, and volunteers with drones.
Internal documents showed the administration attempted to rebrand FEMA as “Feelings, Encouragement, Miracles Agency,” with duties focused on emotional support and distributing signed Trump ponchos. When asked about evacuations, one official noted, “It’s really up to the individual to want to be safe. That’s freedom.” Plans also included storm surge prayer zones and a raffle for floating FEMA trailers.
Critics say the move to keep part of FEMA active is purely political, noting that most of the funding is now allocated to emergency golf course drainage and a new app that lets Trump supporters report suspicious clouds. Aides insist it’s all “smart strategy,” claiming FEMA was “too prepared” in the past and needed “a humbler posture.”
When pressed about readiness, Trump said, “We don’t need to overreact every time the sky has a tantrum. Americans are tough. Just look at how many survived the last few ones without even tweeting about it.” As storms approach, FEMA’s acting director said they would remain operational “until morale or infrastructure collapses,” whichever arrives first.
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