TULSA, OK — Local woman Megan Chen, 34, reportedly achieved total inner peace Tuesday after a quiet realization that absolutely nothing she does has any meaningful impact on the world. Sources confirmed she experienced the epiphany while deleting her 17th unfinished Pinterest vision board titled “New Era,” then calmly tossing her journal into a nearby recycling bin.
Chen, previously plagued by anxiety about self-improvement, productivity, and career milestones, said she felt a wave of serenity once she understood her existence was “a microscopic flicker in an uncaring void.” She now spends mornings drinking coffee without checking her email and evenings staring peacefully into the ceiling, unburdened by ambition or purpose.
Friends noticed the shift after she attended a yoga class but spent the entire time lying on the mat silently mouthing the phrase “none of this matters.” Her instructor applauded her “deep meditative state,” unaware she had simply surrendered completely to the universe’s total apathy. Chen later described it as “better than therapy, and cheaper too.”
Since her awakening, Chen has stopped setting goals, updating her resume, or attempting small talk at weddings. She says the pressure to be special melted away once she realized her legacy will likely be reduced to outdated Facebook posts and a subscription to a wine delivery service she forgot to cancel in 2022.
Asked what’s next, Chen shrugged with a soft smile and said she might learn how to crochet or just let the days pass like clouds over a meaningless landscape. Her newfound peace has reportedly inspired at least three coworkers to stop pretending they care about Q2 reports and one friend to abandon her dream of becoming a lifestyle influencer named “SoulSnack.”
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