BEIJING — After reporting a brutal 50% drop in earnings, Temu’s parent company PDD Holdings promised to double down on “supporting the customer experience,” though customers nationwide reported still not receiving their solar-powered toenail clippers, inflatable slippers, or any evidence of shipping beyond cryptic emojis and a permanent “processing” status.
Temu executives assured investors they remain “laser-focused on growth,” despite app reviews now reading more like abandoned journal entries. One user claimed his last three packages were either lost, vaporized, or turned into NFTs. “At this point, I think Temu is just a game,” said another, “and I keep losing.” The company’s response involved emojis and a voucher for 13 cents.
Once celebrated for delivering Bluetooth pasta strainers at impossible prices, Temu has now become the leading global exporter of phantom mail. “I ordered a belt,” said one man from Ohio. “I got a sticker of a belt and a coupon for cat socks. I don’t even have a cat.” Experts say this is part of a new “disruptive logistics” model, where customers are challenged to guess if their items ever existed.
PDD insists the first-quarter slump was caused by “macroeconomic uncertainty,” a phrase executives reportedly use to describe both inflation and the fact that no one knows how Temu works. Still, the company has pledged to “increase merchant support,” which analysts translated as “just send more fake tracking numbers.” Meanwhile, millions continue to buy, hope, and refresh the app hourly.
Despite financial losses, Temu has achieved one milestone: making Shein look like a reliable business. As for those still awaiting packages ordered last December, a spokesperson suggested customers “embrace the thrill of uncertainty,” and possibly check their neighbor’s yard. The yard is now Temu’s most accurate shipping destination.
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