TRENTON — Over 3,000 teenagers gathered in New Jersey this weekend for what was advertised on TikTok as “The Ultimate Vibe Meetup,” only to inadvertently join a cult named Jim Jones Limited. The group offered free pink lemonade, matching robes, and a school bus painted like a flamingo with emotional issues.
Authorities say the event began innocently enough, with trending dances and badly filmed lip-syncs. Things reportedly shifted once a man named “High Priest Chad” introduced the pink lemonade and began reciting quotes from a pamphlet titled Harmony Through Hydration. Teens thought it was merch. Parents thought it was a meltdown with choreography.
The cult’s founder, a 28-year-old former improv instructor with three restraining orders and a podcast, claimed the organization seeks “cosmic alignment through color-coded beverages.” Most teens, unaware of historical parallels, assumed it was a niche wellness brand. Many posted videos captioned “This cult slays for real.” Most included heart filters and motivational quotes.
When the pink school bus arrived, teens cheered and climbed aboard chanting “Slurp the truth!” Local parents who had driven their children screamed, fainted, or tried to Venmo the cult to release them. One mother reportedly tried to bribe the bus with homemade banana bread and sobs of disbelief.
State officials said they’re “monitoring the situation” and “tired.” No arrests have been made, largely because no laws technically exist for social media-driven beverage cults. As of Monday, the teens were last seen marching in perfect formation near a mall parking lot while harmonizing to Doja Cat remixes. At press time, Jim Jones Limited was already trending on TikTok again under the hashtag #SippinWithPurpose and had launched a merch line featuring embroidered Kool-Aid warnings and rhinestone goblets.
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