SANTA CLARA — Intel has announced its new Battlemage B60 GPU, a budget-friendly card for AI hobbyists who dream big but earn small. At just $500, the B60 costs less than a decent espresso machine and promises to deliver “good enough” performance for users who don’t mind waiting a few extra hours for enlightenment.
While Nvidia’s RTX Pro 6000 boasts performance that could probably run the Pentagon, Intel’s B60 prefers the vibe of a community college computer lab. It lags significantly behind in power, speed, and anything resembling future-readiness, but costs just 1/17th the price. Intel encourages users to “stack a few and pray,” calling it a scalable disappointment strategy.
In a market flooded with AI tools that could replicate Beethoven or destroy democracy, the B60 focuses on the basics. It performs light inference, modest dreams, and won’t accidentally awaken a sentient chatbot that tries to unionize. Intel believes this humble approach could appeal to budget-conscious tinkerers and suburban dads building chatbots for lawn care advice.
Here at The Daily Snort, we attempted to test the B60 but quickly realized we have no idea how technology works. Our office computer still runs on steam and passive aggression. We’ve decided to hire a tech genius, or failing that, a teen with YouTube Premium. We think that counts as due diligence.
Still, experts say Intel’s approach could reshape access to AI, at least for those willing to build Frankenstein rigs out of spare parts and unpaid optimism. President Trump praised the GPU for “making America compute again” before asking if it could run Truth Social in 3D. Tech stocks remained flat, mostly from sheer exhaustion.
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