LOS ANGELES — Legendary skateboarder Tony Hawk confirmed this week that he’s still campaigning to remake Tony Hawk’s Underground, the critically-acclaimed game he helped create, because nothing screams “powerless” like begging a faceless corporation to revive the thing you’re world-famous for. Sources say Hawk is “optimistic” Activision might acknowledge his existence by fiscal Q4.
Despite his iconic status and the game being named after him, Hawk says the decision lies entirely with Activision executives, many of whom weren’t born when the original game dropped. “They’re very smart,” Hawk noted, referring to the same company that remastered Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2 just to vanish into a profit-tracking spreadsheet. His polite persistence reportedly goes well with their Friday lunch meetings.
Insiders say Activision is currently too busy figuring out how to insert NFTs into unrelated franchises to notice the one property that might actually sell without controversy. While Hawk waits for an email reply, the beloved skater spends his afternoons reminiscing about the early 2000s, when you could ollie over cops without being sued by shareholders. The company has yet to acknowledge his repeated messages, possibly because they don’t come from a CEO with bloodthirsty AI ideas.
“We haven’t even released this game yet!” Hawk said of the next Pro Skater installment, a game that technically exists but is being guarded like nuclear codes. Sources confirm it’s unclear whether the game’s delay is due to development issues or just Activision’s allergic reaction to joy. For now, fans remain hopeful for a remake of Underground, a game where you could escape reality, not just quarterly earnings. Hawk remains humble, optimistic, and weirdly too nice to just go rogue and fund it himself via Kickstarter or crypto crime.
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