Miami, FL – A federal judge has ruled that Burger King must answer for allegedly tricking customers into believing their Whoppers are bigger than the disappointment of opening a paycheck. The lawsuit claims BK’s ads exaggerate burger sizes so severely that customers receive sandwiches roughly the dimensions of a folded napkin with meat inside. Experts say this explains why the chain’s mascot is a king and not, say, a truthful peasant.
Judge Roy Altman agreed it’s plausible customers could feel scammed after ordering a Whopper and receiving what appears to be a slider wearing a Halloween costume. The plaintiffs argue the burgers in ads look like they could feed a family, while reality serves portions better suited for a Barbie dream house barbecue. BK’s legal team reportedly countered that no reasonable person expects fast food to resemble the advertising, a defense also used by Tinder and the U.S. government.
The case includes angry customers from 13 states, all united in their outrage over being promised a feast and handed a metaphor for unmet potential. One plaintiff tearfully recounted how their Whopper was so small, they mistook it for a crouton and accidentally ate it in one bite. Burger King has yet to comment, though insiders say executives are “exploring new ad strategies,” including photoshopping burgers next to quarters for scale.
Legal analysts suggest the chain may settle by offering plaintiffs free fries, which will of course be advertised as overflowing but arrive half-empty. And now, for a revelation that’s as surprising as a paper cut in a wind tunnel, McDonald’s executives were seen quietly resizing their own marketing materials, muttering, “We’re lovin’ not being sued.”
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