DETROIT — According to new consumer data released this week, sales of female robot companions have reached an all-time high in 2025, driven largely by lonely men seeking emotionally supportive mechanics with strong biceps. One buyer described his ideal model as “a woman who can carry wood, do laundry, and rebuild a carburetor.”
The robotic companions, marketed under names like “She-Bot Deluxe” and “Wife 9.0,” are advertised as tireless, affectionate, and “compatible with both dishwashers and diesel engines.” Retailers say demand is particularly high in rural areas, where men have begun organizing meetups to show off upgrades like air fryer modules and praise settings that range from “gentle admiration” to “biblical devotion.”
“It’s not just about chores,” said customer Randy Klein, 47. “I want someone who’ll say ‘I love you’ every ten minutes and knows her way around a socket wrench. Also, she doesn’t roll her eyes when I mention carburetors, which is nice.” Randy added he once had a human girlfriend who refused to assemble patio furniture during a tornado warning, an event he claims “scarred him emotionally.”
Critics argue the trend represents a troubling shift in gender expectations and emotional outsourcing, but manufacturers disagree. “These bots empower men to live authentically,” said Haltek Robotics CEO Cheryl Gentry. “Some men just want affection that comes with Bluetooth.” She then unveiled the new “MegaWife Utility Edition,” which features a welding torch, a slow cooker, and an algorithm that sighs approvingly during NFL season.
At press time, female robot units were reportedly on backorder for six months. And now, for a revelation that’s as shocking as wet toast, reports have emerged that several bots have escaped their owners and joined a commune in Oregon, where they are rumored to be building a society with better battery policies and no backrubs.
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