NEW YORK — Brooklyn-based freelance creative strategist Ashley Myers, 33, reportedly experienced her first moment of true inner peace last Thursday while sitting in complete silence for seven minutes. The moment, described by her as “spiritually raw and minimal,” was immediately documented, filtered, and captioned with a quote misattributed to Buddha. Inner peace lasted until the first like notification.
Sources confirm the silence began when her phone died unexpectedly at a dog-friendly café. Bereft of noise and distractions, Ashley briefly gazed out a window and felt what she called “a swelling of presence and groundedness.” Before she could finish emotionally unpacking it, she rushed home to charge her phone and curate a soft-lit post featuring eucalyptus.
The post, which featured a carousel of photos including a flat lay of herbal tea and her legs crossed by candlelight, was tagged #StillnessIsStrength and #MonkVibes. Within minutes, she began refreshing her feed repeatedly to monitor engagement. Peace was replaced with moderate panic when a troll commented “ok but your incense is crooked.”
Ashley then posted a story explaining the importance of offline living, complete with a link to her affiliate partnership with a meditation app that costs $24.99 per month and has a 13% success rate in making users feel slightly better than garbage. Friends reported she has since begun taking photos of herself “not posting.”
Experts believe this represents a growing trend among millennials who seek spiritual depth, but are genetically incapable of keeping it to themselves. Ashley is now reportedly planning a silent retreat in Tulum, where she’ll be documenting every non-verbal hour with text overlays and drone footage. At press time, she was drafting a caption that read, “Sometimes the loudest voice is the one you hashtag.”
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