CALIFORNIA — After escaping a brutal regime in 2017, the Alvarez family thought they had finally reached freedom. Now in May 2025, they find themselves watching the last flickers of American democracy fade in a Costco parking lot as President Trump delivers a campaign speech from atop a forklift near the $5 pizza counter.
“I once watched a military coup from a bakery,” said Jorge Alvarez, staring blankly as pro-Trump drones circled overhead broadcasting a remixed national anthem. “But at least the bread was fresh.” His wife clutched their Costco membership card like a passport to nowhere, silently praying the democracy collapse wouldn’t interfere with bulk paper towel availability.
Nearby, a group of supporters chanted, “Freedom isn’t free unless it’s part of a limited-time family bundle,” while Trump promised to replace Congress with a rotating panel of game show contestants. Bystanders nodded along, munching free samples of cheese cubes shaped like bald eagles.
The speech ended when Trump declared voting optional “if you feel spiritually aligned with my presidency.” The crowd cheered, tossing MAGA hats into the air like mortarboards at a graduation for shared delusion. One elderly woman reportedly pledged allegiance to a box of Apple Jacks after confusing it for a ballot box.
Back in their car, the Alvarezes debated whether to return to a dictatorship they at least understood. “Back home, they monitored us with tanks,” said Jorge. “Here, it’s Alexa and a guy named Rick who thinks democracy is when Chick-fil-A is open Sundays.” As they drove away, the sky darkened—not with weather, but with coupons falling from a government blimp shaped like Trump’s head. Hope remained, but only until the next membership renewal.
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