POMPEII, ITALY — In a bold move to boost tourism among young adults craving both adventure and intergenerational trauma, the Pompeii Tourism Board announced Friday the launch of its new “Spend a Weekend in Pompeii” disaster experience package. Promising ancient catastrophe with modern amenities, the campaign offers guests charred ruins, volcanic ash massages, and complimentary anxiety attacks at sunset.
Visitors will be treated to a full itinerary including guided tours through perfectly preserved human misery, BYOB (Bring Your Own Bodycast) workshops, and fire-roasted pizza classes inspired by Mount Vesuvius itself. “It’s like an ancient Burning Man, but everyone actually died,” said lead marketing strategist Luca Romano, proudly showcasing the optional souvenir: a self-burial kit. Influencers are already calling it the ultimate #TraumaTrip.
A $699 VIP upgrade unlocks exclusive extras like overnight stays in a collapsed brothel, hot stone therapy sourced from real eruption debris, and a toga party where guests vote who gets metaphorically immolated. Officials hope to launch a “Lava Lounge” nightclub by 2026, complete with smoke machines designed to mimic the original asphyxiation experience. “We’re just honoring history, but, like, with better cocktails,” added Romano, handing out complimentary ash-dusted macarons.
Early reviews praise the experience for its realism, although some guests reported existential crises lasting several days. “I came for the photo ops and left with the crushing weight of human impermanence,” said Chloe Martin, 24, while posing for selfies beside a plastered corpse labeled “Kevin.”
The board remains optimistic, unveiling plans for sister sites including “Chernobyl Splash Zone” and “Hindenburg AirBnB.” As of press time, bookings for the Pompeii Disaster Getaway had already sold out through 2027, mostly to couples seeking to add ‘volcanic obliteration’ to their relationship milestones.
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