SPRINGFIELD, IL — Residents of the South Pines neighborhood proudly concluded their 12th annual “Nobody Leaves After Dark” Festival on Saturday, boasting a historic achievement: zero disappearances for the third consecutive year. The beloved local tradition, first organized after an unsettling surge in 2013, continues to highlight community togetherness, vigilance, and strict evening containment protocols.
The week-long festivities included flashlight parades, 4 p.m. curfews, and the much-anticipated Lock-The-Gates ceremony. Children painted murals of their favorite surviving neighbors, while elders gave spirited testimonials about the importance of knowing exactly who lives in every house, and whether they’ve changed their hair recently. Officials praised the turnout, noting that only one resident attempted to leave during the restricted hours and was swiftly re-educated.
Festival co-chair Meredith Plimpton, wearing a commemorative hoodie reading “Stay Put or Stay Gone,” called the event a heartwarming success. “We’ve come so far since the early years,” she said. “People used to ask questions. Now, they just stay inside, lock their doors, and clap when the silence settles in.” Local businesses also participated, offering discounts on blackout curtains, canned goods, and reinforced deadbolts. The mayor’s speech ended with a call to “never look east after 7.”
Organizers are already planning next year’s festival, with proposed additions like “Neighborhood Surveillance Show-and-Tell” and a community-wide scream drill. Residents expressed gratitude for the tradition’s ability to bring people together through shared fear and whispered trust.
“It’s not just a festival,” one anonymous resident murmured while triple-latching their storm door. “It’s a lifestyle. A beautiful, slightly humming lifestyle.” As dusk fell over South Pines, the streetlamps flickered to life, families huddled indoors, and not a single soul wandered where they shouldn’t. As always, no one left after dark.
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