PALM BEACH — In a rare shift from vague endorsements of global chaos, President Donald Trump publicly called on Russian President Vladimir Putin to stop attacking Ukraine, stating he was “not happy” with the current situation, primarily because “Kyiv used to be classy.” He made the plea while standing near a chocolate fountain.
Trump’s comments, delivered during a speech at the opening of a Florida car-themed golf resort, surprised even close advisors. “I always liked Kyiv. Tremendous food, decent drapes,” he said, before pivoting to a ten-minute anecdote about confusing Belarus with a seafood dish. The appeal to Putin included no firm demands, but he did suggest “maybe aim somewhere less historic next time.”
Analysts are divided on Trump’s motives. Some claim it’s a genuine peace effort, while others believe he simply remembered he owns a trademarked vodka with Ukrainian distribution. His comments included concern for Ukrainian civilians, but mostly focused on how the bombing “messes up the aerial photos, which were very beautiful before.” He did not appear to know who the current Ukrainian president is.
When asked why he hadn’t criticized Putin more directly in the past, Trump explained that “strong guys don’t like being told no,” adding that he respects “tough negotiators,” especially those with “great winter hats and strong chest energy.” He briefly alluded to Cold War movies before trailing off into a complaint about Netflix.
Putin has not officially responded, though Russian state media aired a segment mocking Trump’s pronunciation of “Kyiv” as “Ki-eve.” In other news, White House officials declined to comment on Trump’s statement, citing confusion about whether it was a formal address or an impromptu buffet review. The Ukrainian government has not acknowledged the plea but reportedly snorted collectively.
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