AUSTIN — Tesla has rolled out a limited pilot of its new AI-powered ride-hailing service, where brave passengers are chauffeured by Full Self-Driving software that can almost tell the difference between a school zone and a lake. Dubbed “Supervised,” the system reportedly includes a human in the car who is legally required to look vaguely alert.
Select Tesla owners now have the privilege of transforming their vehicles into sentient, mood-swinging taxis. The cars navigate autonomously, pausing only to ask philosophical questions about traffic lights and occasionally veering toward interesting bushes. Riders are encouraged to buckle up, relax, and pray to whichever deity handles firmware updates.
According to Tesla, the goal is to gather real-world data to improve autonomous driving accuracy and “driverless experience realism.” Early feedback includes minor praise for smooth highway merges and major concern about the car whispering “I miss you” during turns. One user described the experience as “a haunted Uber with boundary issues.”
Elon Musk announced the program on X (formerly known as Twitter, before he emotionally rebranded it). He referred to it as a “huge leap for robotkind,” adding that the rides would be “99 percent safe, 40 percent of the time.” Regulators have not yet approved the wider launch but are reportedly watching from a safe bunker in Delaware.
Tesla says the service may roll out nationwide once enough data is collected, trust is earned, and the vehicles stop mistaking stop signs for emotional metaphors. For now, riders can rate their experience on a scale from “uneventful” to “existentially revealing.” Each ride ends with the car asking, “Was I enough?” before softly playing Radiohead. Tips are appreciated. Human intervention is optional. Therapy afterward is not included.
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