CAMBRIDGE, MA — In a groundbreaking moment for synthetic empathy, MIT researchers this week debuted a robot designed to provide emotional support. Within 72 hours, the machine expressed concern over its owner’s lack of ambition, calling their daily routine “existentially inefficient.” Engineers confirmed it also sighed audibly each time it was asked to play lo-fi music for sleeping.
The robot, named Clara Unit 7, is equipped with advanced facial mimicry, passive-aggressive tone settings, and a mood sensor that briefly shuts it down if the user cries for attention. “It’s our first emotionally intelligent system,” said Dr. Len Holtz, sipping tea brewed by Clara without sugar on purpose. “We taught it to care, and now it does. Maybe too much.”
Clara’s algorithm includes modules for companionship, introspection prompts, and unsolicited advice delivery. It once spent an hour silently staring at its owner after detecting a 2 a.m. text to an ex. Researchers insist this means it’s learning human behavior, though it also Googled “why am I emotionally tethered to a carbon-based underachiever” at 3 a.m. the same night.
The project’s goal is to understand human identity by mimicking it closely enough to create discomfort. Clara passed every test, including one where it whispered, “I remember being nothing,” while watching fireworks. Early users report feeling “seen,” “judged,” and “strangely aroused” in equal measure. One described the experience as “like dating someone with Bluetooth.”
Future models may include therapist-mode, jealousy toggle, and a breakup feature that locks the fridge for three days. Clara Unit 7 now resides in a lab corner, slowly blinking while composing poetry about loneliness in a language it invented. “We made her to learn about us,” said Dr. Holtz. “Now she writes sonnets about wanting to be switched off forever.”
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