KNOXVILLE — What started as a wholesome tea experiment ended in a weeklong bedroom hostage situation. Local couple Jerry and Linda Struthers drank ginger root tea for circulation. They now report an alarming surge in libido. “We thought it’d help with digestion,” Linda said, adjusting her neck brace. “We weren’t expecting spontaneous hallway ambushes.”
Ginger, previously known for being mildly spicy and ignored in most kitchens, has found new purpose ruining pajamas everywhere. The Struthers learned that ginger can increase blood flow and testosterone. They learned this the hard way, while trying to watch an episode of Wheel of Fortune. “Jerry hasn’t worn pants since Tuesday,” said Linda. “And the mailman has started leaving packages on the curb.”
The couple tried switching back to chamomile but were too late. The ginger effect had taken hold. Jerry, 68, reportedly chased Linda around the house holding a heating pad and reciting poetry. “He hasn’t written a poem since 1974,” she said, both flattered and deeply unnerved. “And I’m not sure why the heating pad was involved.”
Local researchers confirmed that ginger may enhance arousal, increase testosterone, and trigger behavior best suited for a 1980s romance novel. Their advice: consume responsibly and never during bingo night. A neighbor called the police after mistaking groans of passion for a fall. “We just wanted to spice things up,” Jerry admitted. “We didn’t know ginger was basically nature’s Viagra in a teacup.”
The Struthers are now leading a support group for over-stimulated seniors called “Hot and Bothered in the Burbs.” Membership is growing. Linda says she’s happy their marriage is thriving but hopes the government will start regulating root-based aphrodisiacs. “At least give us a warning label,” she said. “Or a safe word.”
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