In a remarkable surge of mild indifference, Californians across the state are neither thrilled nor devastated by the possibility of Kamala Harris becoming their next governor. Voters, once known for passionate opinions about avocados and earthquake insurance, have united under one powerful feeling: a deep and unwavering shrug. Democracy has never looked more lukewarm.
When asked if Harris’s potential candidacy inspired joy, dread, or anything in between, 36 percent of voters confidently chose “indifferent,” while 24 percent asked if this was for that show Veep. Democratic strategists celebrated the news, saying it’s rare to see a candidate able to unite so many people under the same non-emotion. Harris reportedly nodded solemnly in acknowledgment.
Republicans and independents reacted with equal energy. “I guess she could be worse,” muttered one Central Valley resident while trimming his bonsai tree. Harris herself said she would announce her decision by late summer, which many Californians interpreted as “just in time to not care.” For now, other candidates have put their campaigns on ice until further notice, waiting for Harris to decide if she feels like it.
Despite the meh-wave, polls show that nearly 60 percent of Democrats would still vote for her, citing her recognizable name, symmetrical face, and the fact that she is not a mountain lion. Critics argue she lacks a solid track record, but fans insist that’s precisely the appeal. “She hasn’t disappointed us yet,” said one voter, “because we forgot what she did.”
The race to replace Gavin Newsom continues, but insiders predict it will be shaped entirely by how little people can bring themselves to care. If elected, Harris promises to continue the state’s proud tradition of doing just enough to keep the lights on. Possibly. Unless she doesn’t feel like it.
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