TIJUANA — Amber Dewsnap and Samantha Flake, both 22, were last seen boarding a discount party bus headed south after a Magic 8 Ball told them “Yes definitely.” Fueled by $312 saved from dog food taste-testing gigs, and a brief stint judging hamster fashion shows, the pair declared this trip would be “transformative.” It was. Just not for the better.
Amber arrived in Tijuana wearing enough rhinestones to reflect satellite signals. She claimed her jewelry was “part investment, part bait.” Samantha packed five outfits, two burner phones, and one misguided dream of meeting a man named Alejandro with boat shoes and emotional availability. They both shared one brain cell and a thirst for tequila served in pineapples.
Locals last reported seeing the women filming a TikTok in front of a pharmacy where a man dressed as a pirate offered them “vitamins for the soul.” Their last known Instagram post featured them in a hot tub with four chihuahuas and the caption, “Send bail or bikinis.” Friends back home assumed it was ironic. It was not. They have since ghosted everyone including local authorities.
Sources say the girls mailed postcards before vanishing. Amber’s read, “This place smells like regret and fried mystery meat.” Samantha’s included a doodle of an eye crying glitter and one haunting sentence: “The mariachi band follows us now.” Investigators are calling it both cryptic and oddly on-brand. Their phones last pinged near a taco stand that sells NFTs.
Interpol has not declared them dead, just missing and possibly thriving in a cashless barter-based commune led by a man named Juan Danger. Parents remain hopeful. The Magic 8 Ball, when shaken for answers, now only replies, “Reply hazy try therapy.” Authorities encourage spring breakers to consult maps, not plastic oracles filled with despair.
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